Ellie's Story

In honor of Prematurity Awareness Day I will be sharing Ellie's journey. Some of it is posted in various post throughout the blog. I believe there is even a short birth story on here and one day I do hope to post a full birth story and how it came that we had a premature baby.

I will say this...there was no pre-e, no pre-term labor, nothing. Basically there was no warning....THANKFULLY there was a VERY vigilant doctor and nursing staff that insisted on non-stress test and bio-physical profiles even though the test had said I was NOT leaking amniotic fluid because the results of that bio-physical ultrasound showed MUCH different results in just 5 short days my fluid levels had went from a 12.34 (the high side of normal) to below a 2 (the very dangerous side of normal for baby and mom).

There were no decisions to be made I was delivering that day via c-section. Due to a condition Ellie had there wasn't even time to be monitored in the hospital for steroid shots to be administered to develop her lungs. We had been seeing a high risk doctor the entire pregnancy because Ellie had a 2 vessel umbilical cord they did not feel that this would present her with any problems but the doctor wanted to monitor her growth as it can cause intrauterine growth restriction during the third trimester. Ellie had no growth issues and there had been no fluid issues my entire pregnancy however due to this condition and the already fragile state of her umbilical cord the on call doctor (mine was out of town) felt it was best that we deliver immediately.

So March 16, 2010 at approximately 9:00 am I got the phone call that rocked my world. As she said we were having a birthday party and I was becoming a mom to a preemie. A preemie being born at 35 weeks that could be perfectly healthy and go home in 3 to 4 days or a preemie that could need a little help.

Ellie arrived at 5:13 pm. She weighed a healthy 5lbs 7oz and was 18inches long. She was crying and appeared VERY healthy. I spent a few minutes with her in the OR. Her proud daddy then took her to show her off and to the REGULAR nursery to get cleaned up! Ellie was doing great post delivery and right about bath time she started having breathing trouble. She was put on the CPAP carried down to my recovery room so I could see her precious face and then transported to the NICU were our roller coaster journey would begin.

Ellie did AMAZINGLY well her first night and was doing so great the next morning it looked like maybe that would be the end of our NICU journey but that wasn't to be. But by lunch time she was back on the CPAP. By late that evening the news begin to get pretty bad and she wasn't doing too well even with the CPAP. Come to find out her right lung had collapsed so it was time for a chest tube and to be intubated. Ellie spent one week on the vent which is a very short time compared to some but during that time it seemed like a lifetime and I was longing to hold that sweet little girl! Finally on the morning of March 23rd Ellie was off the vent and was time to get that little one in my arms for the VERY FIRST TIME!!!! She still spent another 2 weeks in the NICU.....learning to eat, talks of moves to bigger hospitals, getting brain scans to test for cerebral palsy, echos for murmurs, renal scans for kidney functions and countless other pokes, prodes and tests.

I know our NICU journey is one of many. I know it is short compared to lots. But, it's our story and on March 16 my world was forever changed. Not only was my precious baby girl brought into this world but she was brought into this world TOO soon. We experienced and saw too many scary things in that hospital! I don't want to change my journey but I don't want anyone else to have to experience it! I look forward to a day when all babies are born healthy.

Ellie Grace - 3 days old in her tanning bed

Stealing this quote below from Heather's blog everyone should go check out sweet Brayden and his story....the power of prayer is AMAZING!

"We can only appreciate the miracle of a sunrise if we have waited in the darkness"

Prematurity Awareness Month

November is Prematurity Awareness Month. This cause is very near and dear to my heart since sweet Ellie joined our world. Awareness day is November 17 (the day after Ellie's 8 month birthday!). I have signed up on Bloggers Unite to blog about it that day and make people more aware this entire month.

These pictures are from some of Ellie's first few hours in the NICU when things were actually still looking up. The NICU is a roller coaster with MANY ups and downs. Throughout the month I will share some of our experiences and our story. While Ellie was only 5 weeks premature as the nurses would remind me when I would get frustrated towards the end when we were SO close to going home but not quite there yet Ellie started out her sweet little life VERY sick and she had a struggle!


While you are joining in this fight please feel free to join in prayer for some fellow friends some real life and some blogger friends...


Heather's son joined this world 12 weeks too soon! You can keep up with the latest on her blog. I don't want to jinx her but things are looking up!


Daysha's 1st born joined this world 7 weeks too soon and is now a healthy growing boy!!! But please keep her in your prayers as she embarks on the pregnancy journey for a 2nd time! We are praying for a healthy FULL term pregnancy!!!


And finally my sweet friend Casey's nephew recently joined this world 7 weeks too soon and he is tiny but doing well!

Home!

We are all home and adjusting well....even our sweet Carson is home! Surprisingly he really isn't too interested in little miss he just leaves her alone and has been minding very well. It's pretty funny every time I put her down during the day he gets in his kennel and waits for me to shut the door. Someone must've told him to nap when the baby naps too! Steven went back to work today which was definitely strange after him being off for such a long time! My mom has taken the week off to spend time with us. We are SO thankful for lots of vacation time and both having a flexible boss!

Ellie is doing well she went to the pediatrician last Friday and weighed in at 6lbs 2oz. When she was discharged from the hospital on Tuesday she weighed 5lbs 14oz so a nice little gain. The pediatrician felt like everything checked out just great. When we were discharged the neonatologist had Ellie on 2 feedings of high calorie formula (Neosure). She would eat it but you could tell she wasn't too much of a fan! We talked to our pediatrician and since she was eating larger portions of breast milk and much smaller portions of the Neosure he felt that she wasn't really getting too much of a benefit from it so we got permission to stop! THANKFULLY....it was high in Iron and was not the best smelling stuff and you can only imagine what it did to her little tummy! We will have one more check this coming up Friday and then she won't go back until her 2 month check up! I also can't recommend our pediatrician highly enough as I know a few of you are expecting feel free to email me for his information!

We have lots of pictures to share but these are just a few that the sweet Melissa Wood took for at the hospital! Melissa LOVES newborn photography and sweet hospital sessions! She had offered to be there for Ellie's birth. Well seeing as how things happened so fast that just wasn't possible!!! So we waited until she was off all the 'equipment' in NICU and got their permission for Melissa to come up! However, by the time all of it was squared away and scheduled Ellie was released to room in with us!!!!! Here are just a few sneak peek pictures we can't wait to see the rest...THANK YOU Melissa for capturing these sweet moments! Melissa also took my maternity photos....I would share but I don't think anyone is interested in my bare belly

Of course we have ton more pictures to share but we will save those for another posts!! Speaking of pictures if anyone needs family photos, senior photos, anything I can't recommend these three people highly enough!!!

Our sweet friend Dia did our engagement pictures, my bridal portraits and our wedding!!! Maybe I should post some finally! She is adopting a sweet little girl set to arrive May 24th! I can't wait for sweet Ellie and Makenna to grow up together....book now before she gets busy. You can contact her through her blog and she will send you samples of her work:).

As I've said Melissa did my maternity and hospital photos. We took maternity pictures at Kaisers Ice Cream downtown and they were so much fun!!

We had newborn pictures taken by Trish at Sweetberry Photography! She is amazing to work with as well! We also have scheduled a watch me grow package with Trish which you can read more about on her website! We can't wait to take them!

Yes I know I think we will have plenty of pictures :) But I wanted to put the information out there for anyone who might be looking for a photographer for something!

My favorite time of day....visiting with my sweet girl!!!

Not the best picture but making sure Miss Ellie can suck and swallow with no problems and she can!!! If you read her Daddy's update emails you'll learn this is before she started having breathing problems. You can see all her little light blond peach fuzz hair. It sure doesn't look like there is much but there is it's just SO SO light!

My last belly picture with my mom. Please disregard the terrible face puffiness....it had needless to say been a long day! I am amazed by how quickly my belly has disappeared. It by no means looks the same but even the doctor yesterday said holy cow did you really just have a baby. Hopefully one day it will look the same again. However, I would do it all over again for my sweet angel!

As she grows stronger and we have better pictures to share I will definitely do so. We do have some but it's hard for us to see her the way she is so we know not many people want to see that! It's 'hands on' time so i'm off to visit my baby and change her diaper......who would've ever thought that would be your favorite part of the day but we will take all we can!

Ellie Grace Feisal

Ellie Grace Feisal entered this world March 16, 2010 at 5:13 pm weighing 5lbs 7oz and measuring 18 inches long. Of course in her Mommy and Daddy's eyes she is absolutely perfect. Below is her story.

As I posted previously on Tuesday March 9 I had a doctors appointment and learned that I was already dilating. My doctor was not overly concerned but she wanted me to watch for any cramping, pressure, contractions, etc. If any of these things happened I had strict instructions on what to do immediately and if they didn't subside I was to head to labor and delivery.

On Wednesday March 10/Thursday March 11 I started having some pain. It was late evening and the cramping was back and worse than ever. I wouldn't say I was having time able contractions but I was having pretty severe cramping and back pain. I followed all my doctors orders and nothing would subside so I called Labor and Delivery after reviewing my file and doctors notes they told me to come immediately. We get here and get hooked up to the monitor and miss priss is just kicking away and doing exactly what she was supposed to. She did have a couple of heart rate drops so to be on the safe side the nurse ordered a biophysical profile and sent us down to get an ultrasound. We had the ultrasound and came back to wait on the report. The report was perfect our sweet girl scored an 8 out of an 8 so we were getting discharged. The monitor picked up VERY VERY slight contractions that were not regular at all!! They felt the cramping and pain was mainly due to her position.

We made it through the rest of the week and weekend without any problems and spent some time preparing Ellie's nursery.

Sunday March 14 I was having what I would call really severe pelvic pressure. I've had lots of pressure come and go throughout my pregnancy and I've been told pressure is SOMEWHAT normal and I would probably have more due to her breech position. My pressure typically subsides with rest so that's what I did! Monday morning the pressure hurt worse than ever. I headed into work with plans to call my doctors office as soon as they opened....I REALLY REALLY wanted to avoid a trip to Labor and Delivery. I knew Monday was my doctors surgery day but I planned to talk to the nurse.....little did I know my doctor was on vacation but I would obviously learn that later. The nurse of course sent me immediately to Labor and Delivery to be monitored. I was not pleased but knew that I needed to do what was best for Ellie and myself. We got to Labor and Delivery, heartbeat was strong, contractions were MINIMAL and very irregular, I still wasn't dilated past a one but she was really positioned deep in my pelvis so they once again thought that was the problem. They ordered another biophysical profile just to make sure there were no major changes from a few days before. The Sonographer stated everything looked good to her but she would send the final report to the nurses so they could determine the next step. She stated that my fluid looked lower than before but fluid was so subjective and good be anything. I knew from the previous biophysical profile my fluid was just over 11. The nurse came in about 20 minutes later and said A+ she scored an 8 out of an 8 I let the doctors office know that and they said to release you. I was thrilled with this news and knew that I could deal through the pain I was having and headed back to work!!!

Tuesday morning March 16 is when everything went crazy!!! I got a phone call from my doctors partner. She introduced herself and stated my doctor was out of town. Panic was already setting in because I didn't know why she would even be calling me. She let me know that she was very upset with the nurses and herself for accepting a verbal report of the biophysical profile from Monday. THANKFULLY my nurse at the doctors office reported it to her first thing that morning when it had came in....that was definitely God looking out for us! The doctor said had she gotten the report on Monday I would had never left the hospital and would have already had a baby. My amniotic fluid level was down to 3.24. They did not know the reason for the drop as I had been checked and I was NOT leaking amniotic fluid. Due to a number of reasons she felt that it was better at this point and time to have an outside baby immediately instead of an inside baby. My world was changed from that point forward. I was told to stop eating and drinking, get squared away at work, get my bags and get to the hospital quickly.

From that point on things were a whirlwind even after arriving at the hospital. Finally at around 4 pm they started the admission process and got me hooked up to the monitors. The nurse immediately asked me if I was ok and what I was feeling because it turns out I was having VERY regular and VERY strong contractions. I didn't feel any different then I had the past week when I was having pain. Around this time Ellie's heart rate begin to drop. They rushed a team of nurses in so they could complete my paperwork, insert a catheter, get my blood to the lab and begin my iv. Everything was moving so quickly I could feel myself starting to panic and could tell it was getting to Steven as well who is normally calm and collective. By 4:50 pm they were wheeling me to the OR and by 5:13 pm we had our sweet angel in this world.

If you read below you can see how our world changed from that point forward. We had discussed with the doctor what could happen with Ellie arriving early but we agreed with the doctor that those complications were worth the risk rather than keeping her in utero.

I am taking things one minute at a time. That's all I can do at this point. I know we are so very blessed and we could have had a very different outcome and even though we are looking at a long road ALL of the doctors are confident and I trust that we are in good hands! I struggle with blaming myself and my body that I couldn't keep our sweet angel where she needed to be for at least a few more weeks but I know that I was taking care of myself and doing all that I could but God had other plans!

I know all of these posts are lengthy but we really wanted somewhere to document everything, share our thoughts and ask for prayers for those willing to pray!'

We love you all and our so appreciative of the love and support we have received over the past few days.

She's here......

I am working on a post as to what happened and why it all happened so quickly. In the meantime I will post some emails from her proud daddy letting everyone know what is going on.....forewarning these may be lengthy updates.


Subject: It's official...I'M A DADDY
Well, she couldn’t wait any longer to grace us with her presence. Mom and baby Ellie are doing great. Jamie is resting comfortably (who wouldn’t be on morphine)

Elliot (“Ellie”) Grace Feisal arrived earlier this evening at 5:13PM weighing in at 5lbs 7oz and “standing” 18 inches tall (long); pretty darn good for being 35 weeks and 1 day, not the typical 37-40 weeks. Her Momma sure did a good job, she’s BEAUTIFUL. And I don’t say that lightly; I’m not really a fan of newborns as a rule. Am I biased? DAMN RIGHT! But, she really is pretty!

She’s got quite a lot of fuzzy BLOND BLOND BLOND hair; I mean toe head blond (as did both Jamie and I until we were both about 7 years old). Not tons on top, but about a half inch or so just about all over. She’s got a pretty, clear complexion. The only “blemish” is either a bruise or a birthmark on her right side just in the crease of her hip/pelvis; let’s put it this way, it’ll be the “date quiz” when she’s old enough and comes home…I’ll simply ask the lad if he found her birthmark, he says yes…it’s trouble!

I would attach some pictures here, but somehow (hello frantic!) left the data cable for the camera at home. Hopefully I can get one up here tomorrow.

We’ll be going home late Thursday or sometime Friday.

Now begin the updates on our little angels health/situation. Not that I expect anyone to read through all these updates but we are directing family and friends here for further updates and I would like to have everything in one place. However, if you feel compelled to read and add us to your prayer list they are greatly appreciated!!!!!

Subject: Baby Ellie News
Rather than send the mass email, thought I would send this group an fairly comprehensive and chronological update. No need to share all the details with the whole free world, or so says Momma.

All was well post-delivery, Ellie was checking out a-ok including her little initial suck/swallow/breathe test to see how she would do with a bottle. As we began giving her a bath ~7:00pm, her color began to fade very slowly. It became more pronounced once the nurse picked her up and placed her chest down in the palm of her hand to wash her back. This continued to the point that she (Ellie) was getting lethargic and cyanotic when washing her hair.

As soon as the bath was over, we put her on Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (known as CPAP to those of the snoring and sleep apnea persuasion). Did this for 15 minutes with an oxygen “enrichment” of 35% (so 14% over air). After 15 minutes of back to breathing on her own, her oxygen levels weren’t staying above 90 without the CPAP assistance, so she was taken to NICU. Jamie got to spend maybe a total of 7 minutes with Ellie on the day of her birth (5 in the OR with me holding her where Jamie’s hand could reach her and 2 seeing her in Jamie’s room on the way to NICU.

Ellie did fantastic over the course of the first night being weaned off oxygen-CPAP at 4:30 and off CPAP altogether by 7:30am on 03/17/2010. All was looking way, way up…to the point I started thinking there was an outside chance she’d go home with us on Friday. It wasn’t to be; and that’s ok.

By 11:30, she was back on CPAP and 30% O2 as her oxygen level just wouldn’t stay up and she began working harder and harder to breathe. By 6:00pm yesterday, they had bumped here CPAP O2 level to 45% and it slowly crawled it’s way to 100% by sometime after 7:00pm. That said, we did get the good news that her kidneys were properly functioning (not a concern of mine but a common issue for premise). Around 3:30, Jamie got to hold her for a little bit while they changed bedding prior to performing an EKG to check her heart murmur.

Over the 7:00 hour, they were doing more blood gas tests and messing with Ellie quite a lot, so we let her rest and recuperate. We also found out sometime in the late afternoon that she has a small heart murmur, which is very common; she has both a PDA and PFA murmur, both of which are normal and fix themselves with time and/or antibiotics (rarely require surgery). This, especially the PDA, contributes to her low oxygen level in her blood as the duct has not completely shut and that allow blood to bypass re-oxygenation in the lungs. That will heal with time.

I called NICU to check on her around 9:00, hoping to get good news and go spend some time with her. It wasn’t good news, but it wasn’t terrible.

It was during this call we learned that Ellie’s CPAP O2 had been increased to 100% and that she was really laboring pretty hard to breathe. At that time, Dr. Cho decided Ellie needed more help than CPAP was providing; all the hard work was making her TIRED and making her work harder to breath. As such, they intubated her and began giving her surfactant, the liquid that keep the little lung sacks expanded when we exhale. Herr’s were collapsing all the way down making her have to really breath hard to get them opened for air. With the intubation, they backed her O2 “enrichment” down to 50% and down to 40% (at 9:15).

They also ordered a 3rd round of chest x-rays; the x-ray revealed that my little angel’s right lung had collapsed due to a leaking lung. We found this out at about 11:00pm. Dr. Cho initially thought that she would need a chest tube but was able to withdraw 43cc of air from her chest cavity and by 11:30, her lung had already begun to rein late. Between 11:30, when I kissed her goodnight, and 1:00 (when I called to check on her) they backed her O2 down to 35% where it remains. She slept GREAT throughout the night (compliments of the sedation) which is exactly what she needed and was supposed to do.

So…all is well; but it will be a bit of a process. The law of averages says that she will be home before her due date of Apr 19, but I think/hope/pray before then. She’s a tough and feisty little thing. Send an extra prayer for her if you would!

Sorry for the Homeric email; but I had to fit in 40+ hours of updates for y’all!

Subject:Baby Ellie news #2
for some, an update; for others a massive run of updates. working from my air card so pics will have to follow as soon as I can get to a better internet connection to upload them to an email.

after the chest tube, they bumped Ellie's O2 level up to 50% and increased the vent from 50 to 60 (which means the machine was doing more breathing for her).

Bless her pretty little heart, she looks like a cyborg or something. wires running all over the place, tubes all over...it's almost unfathomable to think that she's actually doing much better than she was, despite the steps backward.

I spent 20 minutes with her from 1:50 to 2:10-ish, when they kicked me out to do a blood gas test. I'll head back in shortly. While I was in there, they moved her O2 down from 40% (it was moved down from 50% between 11 and 1:45) to 35% and ultimately 32% just before i left.

I had my hand on her and was doing some praying; if you don't believe in God or the power of prayer, my event (if you had experienced this one event) would unequivocally change your mind. As my hand is on her and I'm praying, just when I'm getting REALLY choked up, tears squeezing their way out of my closed eyes trying like mad to drip down my bowed face...she brought her little foot over and touched my hand (I almost can't type this; and you guys know I can talk/type). Jamie had a real emotional afternoon and when I was praying for Jamie, Ellie touched my hand again with her foot. God calming me down using little sedated Ellie.

Another of the most special of moments, she was just waking up from sedation following the insertion of her chest tube. She got just one blinky blue eye open and I leaned in. Just then I leaned in just a bit and, I know physiologically she can't focus, but she took a good long look at me and relaxed back into sleep when I said "Daddy loves you!" She's doing REALLY good...all things considered.

All this sounds terrible, but it's all expected and moving in an ok direction. To date, she's maintaining weight, color (no jaundice), heart is good (despite the murmur), liver and kidneys all working fine.

Subject:Baby Ellie news #3
Ellie’s oxygen on the intubation has been weaned all the way down 25%!!!! PRAISE JESUS!!! Moving in the right direction! Also, moved the breaths per minute from 60 down to 50, so she is DEFINITELY getting STRONGER!!!

Praise be to God!

Subject:Baby Ellie news #4
Quick update on Miss Ellie.Vent is down to assisting on only 40 breaths per minute (was 60 early today and 50 earlier this evening). She's doing the other 20-30 breaths per minute all on her own and a yowman's work on the 40 assisted. Also, her O2 level has been bumped all the way down to 26%. So praise report all the way around; thanks be to God!!!Her lung is staying good and inflated so the chest tube may come out sometime late friday or over the weekend if things stay good!I'm off to tuck her in!

Like I stated I am sorry all these updates our jumbled into one post. I will work on a 'birth story' post here shortly! I will also try to post some pictures of our precious angel. Let's just say it's been a long few days. I know that things could be MUCH worse and that we are VERY VERY VERY blessed that things are going as they are but it's still been a rough few days! The nurses keep reminding me I HAVE to take care of myself and I am definitely trying. Last night I did get a solid 3 1/2 hours of sleep which I know isn't much and isn't good for me but at this point i'll take what I can. Rumor has it we will be discharged later today but I don't expect to see the doctor until around lunch time. It will be very hard to go home without our sweet baby...I know I can look over in the corner at the 8 vases of flowers and plants and the growing stack of gifts in the hospital room and know that we are all loved and being prayed for constantly!